Christian testimonies

Sarah
I always saw Church as a family tradition. It was merely something that I and the rest in her family did on a Sunday and always had done.

I never really questioned this although at school I was embarrassed about Church-going and did not tell my friends unless I had to. I did not apply God’s word to my life, merely seeing him as a God who was only significant in the old stories of the Bible. I only spared a thought for Christian things occasionally on a Sunday during a sermon or Bible-reading. I did not rebel against it or refuse to believe it but the things of the Bible scarcely entered my thoughts at all.

As time went on, when I reached the last couple of years of Junior School, I did begin to listen more intently to the Sunday School lessons. It was then that I came to understand that Christ had come to earth to die for sinners, taking the punishment that they deserve. I came to understand that if I did not pray and ask for forgiveness from Jesus Christ, I was heading for an eternity in Hell. This came as a great shock to me as I had always assumed that I was a Christian because I had Christian parents and regularly attended Church. I now began to realise that being a Christian involved repenting and receiving God’s forgiveness through the death of Jesus. That would save me from an eternity in Hell. It meant a day-to-day relationship with the God of those old Bible stories. ‘Did I have this?’ I asked myself and I came up with the answer, ‘No!’

However, despite this, for the next couple of years I gave the matter little thought except perhaps feeling a little anxious after a particularly moving sermon. I would feebly pray to God to be saved but not because I was sorry for my sins. I was scared of going to Hell. At school I pushed the matter out of my head altogether. I wanted to be like my friends, behaving in the way they did – my greatest fear was that they would think me different from them.

When I began Secondary School I began to think more about Christian things; this was especially because I was attending school with some Christian friends. As I established closer friendships with the girls, the topics of conversations became more serious. The other young people at Church were a good influence on me and I began to realise that she had not given Christianity the importance that it deserved. She began to devote more time and thought to reading her Bible but it was all head-knowledge. I knew that Christ is a saviour but he was not yet my Saviour.

I remember a sermon that I heard on the characteristics of Christ. It was then that I realised that I did not know the person spoken of. I was filled with fear and prayed fervently that God would have mercy on me. I prayed to be made godly and to know Jesus as my Saviour. I remember repeatedly praying this prayer and I really meant it. But I felt as if God was not listening and was not answering it. I did not feel like a Christian and I felt that I did not have the strength to change my life and devote all to Christ. I had failed to realise that only the power of Christ could change my life: I could not do it myself.

It was the following year, in August, at a Christian Camp in Wales that God really spoke to me. Around me I saw young people who truly loved God and lived for him in every aspect of their lives. They had a love for his word and people. Christ seemed to be at the centre of the holiday and the ministry on the book of Ecclesiastes I found particularly helpful. I saw that I could never be satisfied with the endless cycle of day-to-day life and that only Christ truly satisfies by taking away the guilt of sin that I carried around with me.

After one particular talk I felt that God was really speaking to me and so I prayed more earnestly than I had ever done before, asking him to have mercy on me and forgive me, a sinner. I realised that there was no good thing in me to recommend me but that my only hope of salvation was by trusting Jesus Christ. My Tent Leader prayed with me and it was then that God gave me full assurance that I was saved and that he had forgiven my many sins through the death of his Son. He opened my eyes to see that as this life is but a journey; the only thing that ultimately matters is Christ. I then knew that I must keep my eyes on him, praying and reading the Bible and staying close to the Lord. Now I no longer fear Hell – but look forward to heaven with my Saviour and Friend.

One of the passages in the Bible that I most like is the one in which Jesus tells the thief beside him on the cross that he will be with him in paradise. Because this sinful man repented and believe in Christ, even in the last few minutes of his life, Jesus had mercy on him. In the same way, Jesus has had great mercy on me.