Christian testimonies

Tim
As most of you know, my name is Timothy Brown. I was brought up in a loving Christian family. I was taught the Bible, prayed and went to Church. Looking back, I realise that I did not enjoy these things. But still I wanted people to think and believe that I was a Christian. I didn’t swear, I thought myself a good boy; surely that would please ‘His Majesty’. I would have Bible stories imbedded in my head but those were just fiction to me. I didn’t really care for the Christ who died on the cross. I quite often thought, “I’m only young, I’ve got my whole life to live before I devote my life to a possible God”.

I continued my act until about year six, that’s the last year of primary school. I was under the Gospel, a guest speaker [at APC] named John Singleton was preaching on Hell and for the first time I listened to what the preacher was saying; it was as if God was sitting directly next to me, judging me. My temperature rose, I felt so faint, so scared, I couldn’t help thinking about where I would be if I died. My Nan, who I was very close to, and my teacher, Mrs Thorpe, had recently died: where had they gone? I was scared and didn’t want to go to Hell, but I did not love Christ with all my heart. Maybe at this time I become a Christian, but I could not be sure.

After an easy Christian life at Primary School, Secondary School started and that’s when the troubles began. Constant bullying for my beliefs hit me in no time; I even ended up down West Middlesex Hospital for being a “Bible-basher”. I was told that it’s a good thing that you are suffering a little for Christ and it should be a blessing, but I couldn’t see why, it seemed so strange.

After a series of events I realised that I, Timothy, was sliding away from Christ. It was as if I, like a sheep, had wondered far from the flock. Reading the Bible, it struck me that unless things changed I was going to the place I feared most, Hell. Why? Because I have sinned against the God of Heaven and earth. I was, idolising things of this earth and many other wicked sins. Gradually I saw the whole picture, I could see what I was doing wrong in my life, and I could see the Father’s love for me. I knew him not as a fearsome beast but as the Friend of Sinners in who I can put my trust. I find it a blessing that I can come on Sundays, not as a chore but to renew my love for God.

Looking back, I can see that God always had his hand over me, protecting me along my way, even when I was backsliding he still turned it for good, I always think of the verse in the Bible. “All things work together for good to those who love God,” (Romans 8 v 28) and how he’s shown that to me a sinner; he took my sin at Calvary and didn’t let go of me when I wanted to let go of him. How gracious God’s blessings are!

A good way to express what was happening to me would be that the conscience is like a triangle: whenever I’ve done something wrong it turns and hurts. But when it keeps turning more frequently, the sharp edges become more rounded until it can turn freely without thinking. But God sent his Son to the cross to die so my burden can be dealt with, so I don’t have to fear Hell. I don’t want to go against the God who created me, and he alone has re-cut that triangle.