Christian testimonies

Sarah
I have been brought up in a loving Christian family and I have attended this Church since I was born. As a child, I knew the stories of the Bible well, and I always believed them. When I was younger, I saw Church as a family tradition, each week attending the same Church to see the same people and to listen to the teachers at Sunday School, and later on the sermons by the Pastor. It was merely what we did on a Sunday, and always had done.

I never really questioned this, though at School I was embarrassed about Church going, and did not tell my friends unless I had to. I did not apply God's word to my life, merely seeing him as a God only significant in the old stories of the Bible. I only spared a thought for Christian things occasionally on a Sunday during a sermon or Bible reading. I did not rebel against it, or refuse to believe it, but the things of the Bible scarcely entered my thoughts at all.

However, as I reached the last couple of years of Junior School, I began to listen more intently to the Sunday School talks in the afternoon. Of course, I knew of the crucifixion of Christ, and his life of doing good on earth and healing the sick, but up until then I had never questioned why.

It was then that I realised that Christ had come to the earth, to die for sinners, taking the punishment that they deserve. I came to understand that if I did not pray and ask for forgiveness from Jesus Christ, I was heading for an eternity in hell. This came as a great shock to me, as I had always assumed and taken for granted that I was a Christian because I had Christian parents and attended Church regularly. I now began to realise that being a Christian involved repenting and receiving God's forgiveness through the death of Jesus, which would save me from an eternity in hell. It meant a day-to-day relationship with the God of those old Bible stories. "Did I have this?" I asked myself, and I came up with the answer: "No."

However, despite realising this, for the next couple of years, I gave the matter little thought, though perhaps feeling a little anxious after a particularly moving sermon. I would feebly pray to God to be saved but not because I was sorry for my sins. I was scared of going to hell. At school I pushed the matter out of my head altogether. I wanted to be like my friends, behaving in the way they did - my greatest fear was that they would think me different to them.

When I started Secondary School I began to again think more about Christian things. This was especially because I was now attending school with my Christian friends, and as I established closer friendships with the girls at the Church - our conversation topics became more serious. The other young people at Church were a good influence on me, and I began to realise that Christianity was far more important than I had been treating it. I began to read my Bible and devote a lot more time and thought to the things of Christ, but it was all knowledge in my head - not my heart. I knew that Jesus was a Saviour, but he was not yet my Saviour.

I remember a sermon I heard on the characteristics of Jesus Christ, and then I realised that the person spoken of I did not know. I was filled with fear, and prayed fervently, that God would have mercy on me, and save me. I prayed to be made Godly, and to know Jesus as my Saviour. I remember repeatedly praying this prayer, and I really meant it. But I felt as if God was not listening, and was not answering. I did not feel like a Christian and I felt I didn't have the strength to change my life and devote all to Christ. I failed to realise that only the power of Christ could change my life, I could not do it myself.

The following year in August, I attended, for the second time, a Christian camp in Wales. It was here that God really spoke to me. Around me I saw young people who truly loved God and lived for him, in every aspect of their lives. They had a love for his word and his people. Christ seemed to be at the centre of the holiday, and the ministry on Ecclesiastes I found extremely helpful. I saw that I could never be satisfied with the endless cycle of day-to-day life and that only Christ truly satisfies by taking away the guilt of sin that I carried around with me. My tent leaders were such a help, and were a very good witness to me.

After one particular talk, I felt that God was really speaking to me, and I prayed more earnestly than I had ever done - asking him to have mercy and forgive me - a sinner. I realised that there was no good thing in me to recommend me, but that my only hope of salvation was by trusting in Jesus Christ. My tent leader prayed with me and it was then that God gave me full assurance that I was saved and that he had forgiven my many sins through the death of Christ. He opened my eyes to see that as this life is but a journey, the only thing that ultimately matters is Christ, and I then knew that I must keep my eyes on him, praying and reading and staying close to the Lord. Now, I no longer fear hell - but look forward to heaven with my Saviour and friend.

Throughout the last few years, I have learnt so much and have grown as a Christian through the good ministry and youth talks I have heard in the Church. I have no Damascus-road conversion to tell, but my conversion and the wonderful saving grace of Jesus, is something amazing in itself. I know that I am undeserving of my Saviour, and I fall short often, but I also know that God forgives me unconditionally. One of the passages in the Bible I find most comforting is the one in which Jesus tells the thief beside him on the cross that he will be with him in paradise. Because this sinful man repented and believed in Christ in the last few minutes of his life, Jesus had mercy on him, and in the same way Jesus has had great mercy on me.